Benefits & Leave 4 min

Forced fun is out, organic work socials are in

Written by Rachel Mantock
April 7, 2025
Rachel Mantock
Bookmark IconTop Articles

Share

share to linkedInshare to Twittershare to Facebook
Link copied
to clipboard

Socializing at work can be a great way to build connections, especially in hybrid and remote teams. But increasingly, people are rethinking how – and when – it should happen. Many employees want space to engage with colleagues in ways that feel natural, not obligatory.

While team bonding can be meaningful, it becomes less effective when participation feels performative or pressured. Not everyone wants to spend extra time outside of work hours attending socials, and that’s okay. The best company cultures acknowledge that building relationships shouldn't require sacrificing personal time or energy.

Optional-but-not-really-optional company socials are not fun in essence. Fun is often spontaneous, unconfined and feels freeing, so secret, rigid expectations around attendance miss the point here.

A genuine social culture evolves on its own

Not everyone thrives in the same environments. Scheduled events outside of working hours may work for some, but they can also exclude people with caregiving responsibilities, health needs, or religious and cultural practices. Events focused around alcohol or loud social settings can also feel inaccessible for many.

Instead of defaulting to one-size-fits-all socials, companies can take a more thoughtful approach. Let teams shape their own rhythm of connection. That might mean casual check-ins, co-working sessions, or the occasional in-person meetup — ideally on company time, not after hours.

Illusion of choice: "optional but expected"

Even when framed as optional, some social events come with unspoken expectations. Employees might worry that declining an invite signals a lack of engagement, or not being a team player — especially if leaders regularly attend and praise those who do.

This creates unnecessary pressure and can contribute to burnout. The time employees spend outside of work is theirs. When workplaces make after-hours events feel semi-mandatory, it blurs boundaries and risks creating resentment rather than camaraderie.

Neurodiversity and rigid company socials

Masking (hiding behaviors that are natural to you, in order to perform in a way that’s deemed socially acceptable) is often (unfortunately) a big part of how those who are neurodiverse manage working life.

Always having the added task of mirroring neurotypical behaviors and mannerisms is an extra workload in itself (and they’re also more likely to miss the unspoken memo that the company social isn’t truly optional, so they decline to attend without being aware of the repercussions ahead). 

When you have an optional-but-secretly-mandatory company social policy, you force all workers in this situation into social performance mode for even longer.

link to Dylan’s job interview scene in 'Severance' is too relatable. Shall we skip this part of hiring?

Dylan’s job interview scene in 'Severance' is too relatable. Shall we skip this part of hiring?

Dylan’s awkward job interview in Severance feels like a scene from a dystopian thriller—because it basically is. The hiring process is often an endurance test, but what if we skipped the worst parts? A smarter hiring future could be possible, where we do away with outdated methods, and let AI streamline the tedious parts.

Company socials are not part of the “benefits” package

Why are “weekly team socials” often listed as part of benefits packages? They shouldn’t be, as their beneficial nature is subjective and will vary from person to person.

The most successful company socials happen when people genuinely want to be there — not because they’re worried about how it’ll look if they’re not. That means normalizing non-attendance and trusting your team to opt in when they can and want to.

It also means planning socials that don’t clash with people’s workloads. Someone may want to attend a drop-in afterwork gathering, but feel too overwhelmed to join because of deadlines or capacity. Building flexibility into scheduling helps create space for everyone.

Plus, company socials can unintentionally become exclusionary when they are focused on alcohol, for those who don’t drink for personal or religious reasons.

Then there's the issue of "tastemakers" — who choose and organize scheduled “fun” — often being out of touch with what’s really fun to a wide scope of people from different backgrounds. Plus, it’s not uncommon for there to be a lack of cultural competency here too, which compounds this.

This can mean these socials are rarely fun for those who don’t fit into the status quo. Pub crawls are not considered raging fun in all cultures, for example. 

Schedule socials during paid hours

One of the easiest ways to create more accessible social time? Hold events during the workday. When connection is built into the structure of working hours — rather than added to it — more people are likely to join in. And they’ll do so without needing to rearrange their evenings or personal commitments.

This signals that team culture and wellbeing are important, but not dependent on out-of-hours availability. It’s also a recognition that people have different preferences, rhythms, and needs.

Let employees take the lead

Whether your company is fully remote, hybrid, or office-based, it’s often best to let social time develop organically. Smaller teams may coordinate their own catch-ups, while larger organizations might support company-wide activities a few times a year. Either way, employee voices should be central in shaping what’s meaningful and worthwhile.

Importantly, if someone doesn’t attend, it shouldn’t raise eyebrows — that should be an optional norm, not the exception.

link to Transparency in action: Company culture should mirror company policy

Transparency in action: Company culture should mirror company policy

True transparency in your company culture can bridge the gap between policy and practice. Explore the hidden biases in communication, cultural differences in expectations, and how to align values with action for employee longevity. Companies can build trust, avoid empty promises, and create an environment where employees thrive.

Flexibility equals freedom to opt-out of socials

Even if your company socials could rival Studio 54, there will be those that don’t want to attend, ever (or sometimes). From big bosses, to all the managers underneath them, your company culture should be steadfast on this being a non-issue.

You’ll probably find that when the obligation and anxiety is taken out of it, your team still actually wants to hangout socially once in a while, maybe even moreso. Maybe they won’t, and that’s ok.

Approaches to company socials are reflective of how a company operates overall. It starts at the top. 

Company culture isn't built after hours

A strong, supportive work culture is built during the day — in the way teams communicate, collaborate, and respect each other’s time. Social connection can strengthen that, but it can’t replace it. And it certainly can’t fix deeper issues like poor communication, burnout, or misaligned hiring practices.

When socials are seen as add-ons rather than fixes, they’re more likely to succeed. They become opportunities, not obligations.

Subscribe to receive the latest
Remote blog posts and updates in your inbox.